We’re often asked, “How do you determine if this is normal boy behavior or behavior that is unusual?” You can probably arrive at an answer on your own, but you need to consider these three questions to know if your son’s behavior is unusual:
- How frequently does the disruptive behavior occur?
- How long do your son’s disruptive behaviors last?
- How intense is your son’s behavior during this time?
Think about how frequently your son’s disruptive behaviors occur. Once an hour? Once a day? Once per week? It is unusual for a child to get into trouble on a daily basis. We talked to one mom who felt like she had to keep her 7-year-old away from the other neighborhood boys because every time her son went out to play, he came home crying. He had an explosive temper and yelled at the other boys when he got mad but couldn’t handle it when the neighborhood kids yelled back, and he’d run home in tears. This was unusual behavior because it happened so consistently.
Consider the parent with several sons who all have similar behavior patterns. They may think their children are behaving typically because their reference group of boys may be their only comparison. Thus, parents may think that everything is fine until their sons go to school. Once a young boy enters the school system, the parents are surprised to learn that their son’s behavior is considered problematic.
