The age issue to Having a Baby (part 2)

If you decide to put your baby-making plans on hold for the foreseeable future, but you’re still hoping to become a mother someday, it’s important that you take steps now to safeguard your future fertility. Here are the key points to keep in mind:

■ Choose a birth control method that is fertility enhancing.

The birth control pill (a.k.a. “the Pill”) gets top marks from fertility experts because it changes the consistency of your cervical mucus, making it more difficult for bacteria to pass through the mucus and into your uterus and tubes. The Pill also serves up some added benefits on the fertility

front: it helps to prevent ovarian cysts, halt the progression of endometriosis (a condition that can lead to fallopian tube scarring), to decrease the incidence of ovarian and uterine cancer, and to restore a normal hormonal balance in women who don’t ovulate. Of course, it doesn’t provide you with protection against sexually transmitted diseases, so that’s something you’ll want to keep in mind if you haven’t quite settled upon Mr. Right yet. A birth control method you might want to steer clear of until your baby-making days are behind you is the intrauterine device (IUD): it has been linked to an increase incidence of pelvic inflammatory disease — a major cause of infertility in women.

■ Pay attention to any gynecological red flags.

If you notice an unusual discharge from your breasts or detect any unusual menstrual bleeding, see your gynecologist sooner rather than later. The sooner you seek treatment for any hormonal imbalances or other gynecological health problems, the less likely these problems are to take a toll on your future fertility.

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Source : The Unofficial Guide to Having a Baby. Second Edition . Ann Douglas and John R. Sussman, M.D. 2004

What are the Signs of Giftedness?

Parental recognition has been found to be a key ingredient in identification of, and differentiation for, gifted children in school settings (Dickinson, 1970). Recognition is enhanced when parents are exposed to a list of the typical traits of giftedness (Munger, 1990; Silverman, Chitwood, & Waters, 1986), such as the following:

Characteristics of Giftedness

Compared to other children your child’s age, how many of these descriptors fit your child?

• Reasons well (good thinker)

• Learns rapidly

• Has extensive vocabulary

• Has an excellent memory

• Has a long attention span (if interested)

• Sensitive (feelings hurt easily)

• Shows compassion

• Perfectionist

• Intense

• Morally sensitive

• Has strong curiosity

• Perseverant in areas of interest

• Has high degree of energy

• Prefers older companions or adults

• Has a wide range of interests

• Has a great sense of humor

• Early or avid reader (if too young to read, loves being read to)

• Concerned with justice, fairness

• Judgment mature for age at times

• Is a keen observer

• Has a vivid imagination

• Is highly creative

• Tends to question authority

• Has facility with numbers

• Good at jigsaw puzzles

The 25 traits above are from the Characteristics of Giftedness Scale (Silverman, 1993b), developed and studied over a period of 34 years (K. Rogers & Silverman, 1998; Silverman, 2003a). The descriptors were selected to meet the following criteria:

(a) applicable to a wide age range,

(b) generalize able to children of varied socioeconomic and ethnic backgrounds,

(c) gender fair,

(d) easily observed in the home environment,

(e) brief and clearly worded for ease of interpretation by parents, and

(f) supported by research.

The Characteristics of Giftedness Scale is a 4-point Likert scale, with room for anecdotal descriptions of each characteristic. Delisle (1992) has found that accuracy of parent checklists improves dramatically when parents are asked to provide anecdotal data about each characteristic endorsed. For many years, the scale was administered in a phone interview, and now it is sent to parents electronically. There is also a teacher version. In a study of 1000 children whose parents indicated that their children exhibited three-fourths of the characteristics, 84% of the children tested above 120 IQ (Silverman, 1998). Another 11% demonstrated superior abilities in some areas, but had weaknesses that depressed their IQ scores below 120. Exceptionally gifted children (above 160 IQ) demonstrated 80 to 90% of the characteristics (K. Rogers & Silverman, 1998).

Source : Clinical Practice with Gifted Families. Handbook of Giftedness In Children. Linda Kreger Silverman and Alexandra Shires Golon. 2008

The Age issue to Having a Baby (part 1)

While you might be tempted to hold off on starting a family until you have your financial house in order, it might not be the wisest move from a biological standpoint. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, postponing motherhood indefinitely isn’t necessarily in the best interests of mother or baby. Not only do you risk missing out on the experience of motherhood entirely (the biological clock waits for no woman, after all), you face an increased risk of experiencing reproductive or other health problems, or of giving birth to a baby with health problems. Here’s what you need to know in order to be fully informed on the age issue:

■ Older mothers are less fertile than younger mothers.

According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, a woman over age 40 has just a 5 percent chance of conceiving during any given cycle as compared to the 20 percent odds enjoyed by a woman in her early 20s.

■ Older mothers face an increased risk of miscarriage.

According to a study reported in the British Medical Journal, by the time a woman reaches age 45, her odds of having a pregnancy end in miscarriage are roughly 75 percent.

■ Older mothers face an increased risk of giving birth to a baby with a chromosomal abnormality.

While a 25-year-old woman faces 1/476 odds of giving birth to a baby with a chromosomal abnormality such as Down syndrome, a 45-year-old woman faces 1/21 odds.

■ Older mothers are more likely to conceive twins or other multiples than younger mothers.

Because complications are more common in multiple pregnancies and multiples are more likely to be born prematurely, the rate of loss in multiple pregnancies tends to be higher than when a

woman is carrying a single baby.

■ Older mothers are more likely to develop complications during their pregnancies. Preeclampsia (extremely high blood pressure), placenta previa (when the placenta blocks the exit to the uterus), placental abruptions (the premature separation of the placenta from the uterine wall), gestational diabetes (a form of diabetes that is triggered during pregnancy), premature birth (birth before the 37th completed week of pregnancy), and intrauterine growth restriction (when the baby ends up being significantly smaller than what would be expected for a baby of a particular gestational age) are all more common in order mothers than in younger mothers. Women over the age of 40 are also more likely to have preexisting health problems such as coronary artery disease that may complicate their pregnancies — yet another reason to keep an eye on the biological clock.

■ Older mothers are more likely to require an operative delivery.

Forceps, vacuum extractions, and inductions are more common among older mothers, and, what’s more, older mothers are more likely to require a cesarean delivery than their younger counterparts. (A study reported in the medical journal Obstetrics and Gynecology noted that mothers over the age of 44 are 7.5 times as likely to require a cesarean delivery as younger mothers.)

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Source : The Unofficial Guide to Having a Baby. Second Edition . Ann Douglas and John R. Sussman, M.D. 2004

What Is a Real Mom?

Hey, Mom: Are you real? Is what you’re doing as a mother going to “last for always”?

Sure, that may sound like a silly question, but the answer is going to tell you a lot about just how effective you are as a mother, how influential you will be on your children’s lives, and whether they will grow up to be happy adults with character and confidence. It will also make a big difference in just how happy your family is now, today, every day.

What does a real mom look like?

• A real mom doesn’t worry about what other moms are doing or saying.
• A real mom knows her children so well that she makes her parenting decisions based on their unique needs.
• A real mom is clear about her personal values and code of behavior, and sticks to them.
• A real mom knows what’s important for her family and keeps those priorities straight.
• A real mom has confidence in her maternal instinct and isn’t pushed around by the latest pressures and trends.
• A real mom knows that what matters most is a close connection with her children so that her influence lasts for always.

And what does a real mom do?

Above all, she stays true to herself and connected to her kids, and she doesn’t deviate from what she knows is best for her family.

• Real moms have a life of their own.
• Real moms break the rules for their family.
• Real moms let their kids wear the same clothes two days in a row.
• Real moms go on a date with their husbands and aren’t afraid to miss the PTA meeting.
• Real moms give their kids pots and pans to play with.
• Real moms leave their food on the tray and head for the parking lot when their kid has a meltdown at McDonalds.
• Real moms make their kids do their own homework.
• Real moms aren’t afraid to say no.
• Real moms give themselves time-outs.
• Real moms tell their kids they don’t have to play Beethoven’s “Für Elise” at the family reunion.
• Real moms know it’s not personal when their kids say, “You’re the meanest mother in the whole world.”
• Real moms say “Good job” when their kids get an A but hold off on the brand-new Lexus.
• Real moms make their sixteen-year-olds set their own alarm clocks.
• Real moms tell their kids to pay their own library fines.
• Real moms ask Uncle Harry to put on the lampshade and do his juggling act on the kitchen table as the birthday party clown.
• Real moms let their kids be bored.
• Real moms say, “Not in our family” when their kids complain that “But everyone else does.”
• Real moms say, “I’m not an ATM machine” and tell their kids to save money.
• Real moms admit they’re wrong.
• Real moms know they’re not perfect.
• Real moms leave the dust when the playgroup comes over.
• Real moms admit when they’re grouchy.
• Real moms send their kid to canoe paddling camp when the other mothers enroll theirs in intensive Chinese language immersion.

Source : 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know. GETTING BACK TO BASICS AND RAISING HAPPY KIDS . Michele Borba, Ed.D. 2006

When Should a Child Be Formally Identified as Gifted?

School wisdom and psychometric research differ on the answer to this question. In a study in Canada, only 50% of the preschool and kindergarten teachers surveyed believed that gifted children should be identified between the ages of 3 and 6 (Sankar- DeLeeuw, 2002). The purpose of testing advanced students in schools is for selection to programs. Where gifted programs exist, they may start at fourth grade and stop after sixth grade. It is common for school districts to test children on group IQ tests at the end of third or the beginning of fourth grade. Some school districts extend gifted programs to the primary grades or up through middle school. Coordinated kindergarten through 12th grade programs for advanced students are rare.

There are three major problems in waiting until around age 9 to test a gifted child. First, this is the age when girls go underground and are likely to hide what they know in order to fit in. Many girls say, “I don’t know” to test questions they can readily answer because they do not want to be separated from their friends. They also become perfectionist at this age and are unwilling to guess unless they are absolutely certain of the answer, which depresses IQ scores (Silverman, 1995). Second, at this age, exceptionally gifted children easily hit the ceiling on the IQ tests. Since

the content is of insufficient difficulty, the children may be considerably brighter than their test scores. Third, a critical period for the development of talent is lost.

Giftedness is exceptionality; therefore, as with all forms of exceptionality, early intervention promotes optimal development (Bloom, 1985; Guralnick & Bennett, 1987). Because of the importance of early intervention, it would not be appropriate to wait until age 9 to identify a child with developmental delays. For the same reason, it is best to identify gifted children as early as possible.

Since parents are able to recognize their child’s giftedness in early childhood, it is wise for them to obtain formal identification before the child enters school. This may sound bizarre to those who have bought the myths that early IQ scores are just the result of a stimulating home environment and that “by third grade, all kids catch up.” It is true that intelligence tests measure a mixture of environmental exposure and innate intelligence. But which child has had the most environmental exposure: the 4-year-old or the 9-year-old? The effects of environment increase with age, not decrease. As for “catching up,” the gifted mind has access to higher levels of abstraction, learns more information, retains it better, accesses it more efficiently, organizes it, and associates it with previous information more effectively. How, then, would it be possible for a child of average intelligence to “catch up” to a child of extremely high intelligence? It can only appear that way if the information being taught is at such a low level that children of vastly different abilities can perform at the same level.

A fundamental principle in developmental psychology is that “Development usually proceeds at the rate at which it started” (LeFrancois, 1981, p. 89). This principle has been found repeatedly to apply to the gifted: “The differences between gifted and non-gifted children were significant at 1.5 years and every age thereafter” (Gottfried et al., 1994, p. 56). From her review of the research, Robinson (1993) wrote: “Advanced ability tends to maintain its rapid pace of development. This evidence substantiates the notion that early giftedness, or rapid development, also predicts the subsequent rate of development” (p. 511).

The optimal time to identify a gifted child is between the ages of 4 and 9. Children younger than 4 may lack the ability to attend and respond to the examiner. Four-year old gifted children are intellectually more like 6-year-olds, and they usually respond to assessment like school-age children. Based on a half-century of research in testing, Elizabeth Hagen, coauthor of the Cognitive Abilities Test and the Stanford-Binet Intelligence Scale, Revision IV, confirmed that accurate information can be obtained with 4-year-olds.

Source : Clinical Practice with Gifted Families. Handbook of Giftedness In Children. Linda Kreger Silverman and Alexandra Shires Golon. 2008