You’ve heard the saying: Hell has no fury like a woman scorned. Well, that saying should be: Hell has no fury like a woman scorned who’s in her third trimester. Remember the first trimester? The third trimester brings more of the same—only worse. Now you’ll be dealing with a bigger, more apprehensive, more easily riled version of your wife. (Though at times this woman will not seem at all like the woman you married.) First off, sitting down will be an effort for her and something that is impossible to do gracefully. Never—ever—laugh, or even snicker at her while she is attempting to sit. If you do (despite the fact that standing up is even harder than sitting down) she’ll be on top of you faster than a hungry leopard on a blind, wounded deer. Your best plan of action here is to always keep a straight face (if you have trouble doing this, just remind yourself how much your hospital bill is going to be) and offer to help ease her down and help her up. This will not only help your standings with her, but it also builds your biceps and back muscles.
Second, by now the baby is sitting on her bladder. So, remember those sprints to the bathroom during the first trimester? Now they’re back, only more so—plus to make matters even worse, now it’s hard for your wife to do anything more than waddle. Still, it is amazing how fast a pregnant woman can waddle when nature calls, and calls—and calls. Once again, be prepared to get out of the way fast or you’ll end up as road kill. Finally, all this adds up to one large and angry woman. Rabid attack dogs have been known to cower in fear of women in their third trimester. The slightest thing could set her off. Whatever you do, do not laugh at her waddle—especially if she’s on the way to the bathroom (in some states this is considered grounds for her to legally
kill you). You should be on your best behavior or you’ll run a very serious risk of your child growing up without a father. Just pretend you’re one of those guys on the bomb squad deactivating a really sensitive, really deadly, explosive that will explode in your face if you even look at it funny. In order to survive you have to be as quiet and as cautious around it as possible.
Source : John Zakour. A Man's Guide to Pregnancy.2003
Second, by now the baby is sitting on her bladder. So, remember those sprints to the bathroom during the first trimester? Now they’re back, only more so—plus to make matters even worse, now it’s hard for your wife to do anything more than waddle. Still, it is amazing how fast a pregnant woman can waddle when nature calls, and calls—and calls. Once again, be prepared to get out of the way fast or you’ll end up as road kill. Finally, all this adds up to one large and angry woman. Rabid attack dogs have been known to cower in fear of women in their third trimester. The slightest thing could set her off. Whatever you do, do not laugh at her waddle—especially if she’s on the way to the bathroom (in some states this is considered grounds for her to legally
kill you). You should be on your best behavior or you’ll run a very serious risk of your child growing up without a father. Just pretend you’re one of those guys on the bomb squad deactivating a really sensitive, really deadly, explosive that will explode in your face if you even look at it funny. In order to survive you have to be as quiet and as cautious around it as possible.
Source : John Zakour. A Man's Guide to Pregnancy.2003
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